Why Everyone Needs A Fat Metalhead Friend In His Life
This is not for self-gratification, I swear!
I have quite a lot of metalhead friends in varying sizes, and there is something special about us fluffy, big guys. We have many things in common, and some of these are listed below.
Lion? No. Wolf? No. Puma? Maybe. Bear? BEAR!
We are big. We are hairy. We are (TEDDY) BEARS. While we look like some low brand thugs, most of us do like (giving) hugs. We are only humans after all.
Sometimes the enthusiasm can be a little overboard, so you can be expected to get the good ol’ bearhug every now and then.
Oh, plump guys just wanna have fun.
With a big guy around, you can be sure that there is fun inbound. A concert, a festival, a pub, on the streets or at your parents-in-laws. We always know how to get people laughing and a party going.
Alcohol? Alco-no-problem!
Talking about parties! Metalheads can stand their alcohol quite right, but when you are fat, that tolerance is at another level. You can be sure that the last man standing will the fun maker. He will not be sober, he will not be drunk, but he will remain standing.
Though, beware when the giant finally falls!
We’re rough lookin’, tough sons of bit- female dogs.
There is a small subgroup of party goers where alcohol equals fighting lust. The size and rough appearance of your big boned brethren will be enough most of the times. If this is not enough, the Giant should be able to easily subdue or push the fight-lusty cretin to the ground and keep him there.
Final thoughts
Even if you are not into metal, give those big, hairy lumps a chance to be your friend. Most of us are friendly enough, and despite our appearances, are just as human as you are.
We look different, but we are one big family and support each other, just as we support those we care about. Maybe you’ll even be surprised that some of us have more complex characters than one would think!
So if you see one of us passing by, raise your hand and say: “hello, big guy!”
